Interviewer: IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Chris: Having to deal with most other humans on a daily basis

Interviewer: PAPER OR PLASTIC?
Chris: Depends on what I'm buying wouldn't it? I mean, I wouldn't want some things to be in a plastic bag that you can see into. Would you?

Interviewer: WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK/MAGAZINE YOU READ?
Chris: The latest issue of PC Gamer. Book? Uhhh, a whole lot of them for school.

Interviewer: A TV SHOW YOU CAN'T STAND TO WATCH?
Chris: 95% of them

Interviewer: WHAT DID YOU EAT FOR LUNCH TODAY?
Chris: turkey, ham, cheese, bread, and an angry dog

Interviewer: DO YOU LIKE TO BE SURPRISED?
Chris: Damn, I didn't see that question coming. How annoying.

Interviewer: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?
Chris: WHAT???? Does anyone really care? If you care that much, come over and ask me where the bathroom is and you can see for your bloody self.

Interviewer: WHAT BRAND OF DEODORANT DO YOU WEAR?
Chris: That's not something I keep stored in memory. I just know when I run out, look at what kind it is, go to the store, get more, then forget the brand.

Interviewer: YOUR FAVORITE STORE TO SHOP AT?
Chris: I can't afford to shop at my favorite store too often. Guitars, amps, and recording equipment cost a ton of cash.

Interviewer: FAVORITE SEASON?
Chris: the season of the witch

Interviewer: FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chris: cigarette, beer, sex. doesn't have to be in that order

Interviewer: FAVORITE CANDY?
Chris: beer

Interviewer: REGULAR OR DECAF?
Chris: Alcoholic

Interviewer: FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Chris: Wherever our impulsiveness leads us that night

Interviewer: WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU ADMIRE?
Chris: In what? Humans? Well, I'd have to go with mortality.

Interviewer: FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
Chris: Any day I don't have to work or go to school.

Interviewer: FRUIT OR FRUIT SMOOTHIE?
Chris: beer

Interviewer: HOW MANY RINGS ARE YOU WEARING?
Chris: uhhhh, none of your business.

Interviewer: HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR MEAT PREPARED?
Chris: to taste good? wait. Is this a trick question to see if I'm gay or not?

Interviewer: WHAT WAS THE LAST CARD YOU SENT SOMEONE?
Chris: I don't send cards. Why? I mean, come on, pick up the phone and call. Cards are the passive-aggressive way of wishing someone a happy something or other without really giving a damn.

Interviewer: WHAT RADIO STATION IS ON WHERE YOU ARE?
Chris: the final fantasy VIII sounds coming from the tv downstairs, the low din of the heater, and the dog scratching himself

Interviewer: WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Chris: Satan, I lost his e-mail address. If anyone has it, let me know. He owes me a few favors.

Interviewer: WHO IS THE PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK FIRST?
Chris: I'm damn sure it'll at least be a woman.

Interviewer: ONION RINGS OR FRENCH FRIES?
Chris: fries. kissing someone with onion breath makes me not feel so bad i'm a smoker

Interviewer: DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY CARDS OR BOARD GAMES?
Chris: Neither. There are other things I'd rather be wasting my time doing.

Interviewer: NAILS POLISHED OR UNPOLISHED?
Chris: unpolished. I also cut them WAY too short so my fingers feel all weird, like when you just get done......nevermind

Interviewer: DO YOU LIKE NUTS ON YOUR SUNDAES?
Chris: I don't even like sundaes, or sundays, or mondays, i do like fridays and saturdays and days outside of that certain time of the month

Interviewer: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SODA?
Chris: What's a soda? Is that some new form of yoga? or yogurt perhaps? ...hmmm....sogurt....brilliant marketing scheme in the works

Interviewer: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV?
Chris: stand up comedy. and no, I'm not going to explain why it's a sport